It's puppy time! My parents bought a puppy this past weekend - she's a West Highland White Terrier that they've named Molly. She's the first small dog they've ever owned (she weighs less than five pounds at the moment); the last four were all German Shepherds. They still have Mujo, a male shepherd that is about 13 years old now and is strictly an outdoor dog (he has a coat like a bear so he'd be too warm, plus he doesn't exactly smell like a flower). His long-time buddy Max, with whom he shared some excellent adventures, passed away last year. Before that there was Indy and before her Luger, both of whom were female and very bright. I remember Luger being indoors and sleeping on my bed when I was a kid (and letting me use her for a pillow when I watched TV on the floor), but other than that they've all been mainly outdoor dogs. My Jazzy, while a big dog (80 lbs.) is mainly an indoor pup, but she's so well behaved that it's like living with a person in a dog suit (and a very nice person at that). The problem with dogs is that you know you are almost always going to outlive them, so the story will have a sad ending. That is why my Mom has advised me not to read Marley & Me, even though the dog on the cover is so cute that the inside pages of the book could be blank and it would still sell well.

It's book report time. I recently managed to find the time to read "The Great American Stay-at-Home-Wives Conspiracy" by Dan Merchant and B. Scott Taylor, and while I found it funny in spots I can't really recommend it on the whole. The book is about a guy who makes millions by selling his internet company and retires at 38 (we should all be so lucky). While hanging out at the country club and observing the wives of his friends, he begins to suspect that they are conspiring to control their husbands and the world. The rest of the book is about his efforts to uncover the consipiracy, but the story fizzles and gets a bit unreal at times. Still, there are enough good scenes that I think it would make a fun comedic movie - kind of a quirky, cult hit type.
The idea that women are totally organized and are running the world is an interesting concept, but is easily disproved. If the consipiracy was real, would a show like The Bachelor be on the air? The show takes one guy and has him date 25 beautiful women and one by one break their hearts until only one remains. The season that just started (yes, I'm ashamed to admit that I never miss an episode) started off with a bang. The locale is Paris (makes sense to me), and the Bachelor, who seems like a nice guy, is an ER doctor. One of the women is also a doctor, so she thinks she's a shoe-in to get a rose (which means she would advance to the next episode). She confides to the camera that she's excited and can't wait to meet him because "frankly, my eggs are rotting!" When she gets her time to talk with him, she lets him know that she's "ready for the next stage - the reproductive stage." Yes, that's how she said it. Bad enough to bring up having kids when you first meet someone, but to sound like a robot while doing so is just nutty. Naturally, she doesn't get a rose and amazingly she can't believe it. She confronts him and asks him why she wasn't chosen... to his credit he tells her the truth. Yes, it's not very nice but to me it's quality entertainment.

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, so I had the day off from work. I have to admit that I don't really know much about MLK, since he died before I was born and none of my U.S. History classes ever went past the Korean War (uh-oh, I better keep this on topic before I go on an education rant). In the 80s, when his birthday became a holiday, someone with a fungineering degree decided that the best way to teach about King's life was a board game. Seriously, a board game. And somehow, my family ended up with one - probably from a yard sale. Years after it was purchased, my brothers and I decided to play the game on this very holiday. Sadly, it's not much of a game.

There are 64 squares on the board, and you simply take turns rolling a die (actually, it was a "spinner" with numbers from 1-6) to try to get ahead of the other players. If you landed on a square with MLK's face on it, you drew a card which would give additional, if not creative, instructions such as "go forward one space." If you were lucky, you'd get a more interesting command like "Wed Coretta Scott" and you'd go to the space on the board (which was in chronological order) corresponding to that event. When we landed on an event square, we would exclaim what was written "I won the Nobel Peace prize" and such. As we neared the end of the game, however, we noticed that there was an actual square for his assassination. None of us wanted to land on that square, but two of us did by chance. A third landed on the "face" square just beyond it, only to cruelly be told to "go back on space." In short, it wasn't a nice way to end a game. But the real problem with the game was that it didn't reward skill in any way. If possessing knowledge of Dr. King's life and accomplishments resulted in an advantage, I'm sure the game would have been more useful as a learning tool for us. Fortunately, there are well clever blogs with many links to help us learn these days.

(WARNING: this entire blog entry is a total nerd zone.)
Welcome, friend! Yes, my new work computer has arrived, and being the geek that I am I'm actually excited about it. My old computer served me well, but it's a bit long in the tooth (1ghz Pentium 3, 256MB RAM) and since I need graphics software it made sense to get a new one. I’m very happy with it, though I admit I would prefer a Mac. My computer at home is an iMac, and it is also getting up there in age, though I must say it has served me very well for the past five plus years. It is actually the first Mac I’ve ever owned, and it definitely has made me an Apple kind of guy. The first computer I ever used was an Apple ][e in Junior High School – I was lucky enough to be one of the very few kids who had access to it, and I remember drawing pictures in Logo and writing simple programs in BASIC. I caught the computer bug (a virus, perhaps?) right away and started begging my parents for a computer. They came up big (thanks Mom & Dad) that Christmas with a TRS-80 Color Computer. I spent a lot of time programming my Coco, as it was affectionately known to those who used them. I wrote games, graphic demos and even a simple GUI. The Coco had its flaws – it didn’t have the graphic capabilities of a TI99/4A or a Atari 800, or the games of a C64, and it couldn’t display lower case letters. But it had advantages as well – it had the best processor of all of the 8-bit computers (Motorola 6809E), and the best version of BASIC, which was made by a then little-known company named Microsoft. Tony Kulla

Behold! It's nature's perfect snack, the Star Crunch. Wait, did I say nature? Sorry, it's really the perfect creation of that undisputed confectionary genius, Little Debbie. I don't know what it is about these things, but I really can't resist eating them. My only defense is to not buy them, because a box of 12 will only last a couple of days in my presence. Perhaps it is because they are from another world, as the full name of the cookie is Star Crunch Cosmic Snacks. They were probably introduced to Little Debbie by the members of Newcleus, who came here from their world where, I quote, "Music and dancing are against all cosmic and computer law." It's great to know that we live in a country where even aliens from another planet can escape oppression and make it big as crossover 80s rappers. Jam on it!

iPod Update: I have successfully replaced the battery in my iPod. Many thanks to Sonnet for an excellent replacement product. It only took a few minutes to do, and the instructional video and included tools made the job a snap.

The new year has afforded me a development that will ensure my felicity for a great long while. Though I have not been entailed a great estate or have the best connections, my dearest Natalie has consented to marry me. Since the success of any proposal is less than guaranteed I was gratified by her acceptance, especially after recently "witnessing" the refusal by Elizabeth Bennet of both Mr. Collins and the first proposal of Mr. Darcy. Though I do suppose both were deserving of such a response given the manner of their asking. Okay, I admit it... I love Pride & Prejudice. It may be coincidence that I have been reading the book lately while anticipating my own engagement, but perhaps not. It is such a romantic story that it seems entirely appropriate reading for such a time. It also seems to have altered my writing style somewhat, and for that I most heartily apologize to the readers of this blog and to Jane Austen. I have a peculiar regard for the delightful and quite faithful BBC miniseries, and recommend it most highly. The recent feature film, while excellent, is simply too short to convey the wit and charm of the book in its entirety. I hope you will find the time to enjoy the story in the way you choose, and I wish you the very best over the coming twelvemonth.